Why do you fail to commit to your goals?
With my clients, I’m looking for four signs they’re actually committed to their goals. Not just engaging in mental masturbation…
…a lot of people are doing the latter
Here’s another way to put it (crass language upcoming):
A client once said to me, “you know what’s different about your coaching compared to the rest of what’s available, Tom? It’s the difference between having a wank and the real thing.”
And you can translate that analogy to committing/pretending that you’re committed too.
Actually being committed to your growth has 4 distinct characteristics that I’ll show you today.
Pleasuring yourself by pretending to be committed just won’t cut it.
Are you truly committed? Or just bullshitting yourself? Let’s find out…
Inviting Feedback
You and I are sneaky fuckers.
When we’re not pulling our weight, we’ll do anything to not see the truth.
Despite knowing at our core that we’re letting ourselves down.
I try to get my clients to see the truth.
Some will weasel around and avoid my questions in amazing acts of mental gymnastics.
But I always get them to see the truth.
The goal is to seek as much feedback as you can handle.
Because it’s negative feedback that creates change (not feedback that feels nice).
Adventurepreneurs who succeed are ruthless in inviting negative feedback.
They don’t enjoy getting it, but they tolerate it.
A strong mindset for an adventurepreneur will seek out negative feedback and not attach their self worth to it.
It won’t seriously knock them back. They’ll just be excited to have found a new way they can succeed.
Act Like Someone Who Deserves Success
Playing small: the thorn in the side of so many adventurepreneurs.
There’s a distinct way of acting that too many adventurepreneurs fall into.
They - despite having moved past this stage years ago - still act like someone who has the whole world against them.
Somehow, for some reason, it feels safer to continue to act like the victim. Like someone who has the whole world conspiring against them.
When in reality, they have a whole assortment of assets available to them.
This looks like…
Not hiring the consultant/coach because it’s too much of a stretch
Not holding themselves to a higher standard in all areas of life
Not demanding more from their team
At the heart of it, the “I can’t change this” mentality is one of a victim.
It’s time to take a risk. It’s time to stop playing small.
Kick The Hustle & Grind
The initial phase in adventurepreneurs is the hustle and grind mode. You sacrifice everything.
You have no idea what you really need to do so you do everything.
And eventually, you burn out.
The greatest adventurepreneurs - the ones who really achieve total freedom - add in ways of rebuilding their energy supplies.
Just like the pro athlete, they realise that recovery is an essential part of the journey too.
Those who are just play acting at the adventurepreneurial journey have no boundaries.
Work spills into family time.
Family time spills into training.
And everything spills into the time where they should be chilling the fuck out.
The adventurepreneurs who really succeed with me are those who get the boundary thing. They establish time out.
And they deal with the fear that comes up when they do so.
Moment to Moment Mastery
The final thing I look for is moving beyond the box-checking actions, and into the mastery zone.
The adventurepreneurs who live maximally know how they need to act in each moment.
They have a clear idea of who they need to practise becoming.
They do this because they know that doing the bare minimum is not going to buy them the freedom they desire.
Mastery of their key inputs will though. So they double down and they look to be fully present with every action that’s important.
They are aware of who they need to be as a spouse and parent, business owner, and athlete.
They cultivate the discipline to not let their standards slip to anything below that of a master. Ironically, they do this through practising having a beginner's mind.
To Stop Play Acting…
Stop constantly crushing yourself. Prioritise your recovery.
Master each moment. Live in the present.
Quit acting like an amateur.
Invite as much feedback as you can tolerate.
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