Stop Coasting Through Life: The Dangers of Living on Autopilot
We waste too much of our lives. Dominated by cruise control; habitual actions performed in a malaise of normalcy creating a life where the perfectly fine, but rarely sublime, status quo dominates.
One day, you and I will die, and all that lack of intentionality will be the thing that haunts us on our deathbeds. Maybe I’m just speaking for myself, but I consider success to be what percentage of my life I feel I’m actively engaged in. Carrying out monotonous, routine, surface level existence seems to be the exact opposite of engaging in life.
Whilst we hope our final day will be many years from now, we just don’t know whether it will be five decades from now, or five days. Which makes this moment right now, and how we engage with it, pricelessly precious. You don’t know when the last time you feel your wife’s hand in yours, breathe in the smell of fresh rain, or taste the sumptuous darkness of your favourite roast, will be.
But you do know there will be a last time.
And you have no idea whether you’ve already had it.
The Illusion of Time Management: Why We Always Make It Just in Time
Fleeting moments of intimacy and sensory pleasures are the small things that add quality to our experience, but they’re not the things we initially think about when we consider our finite existence. For me, I think about the last time I will see my family members and friends. I know that each time I see my parents when they visit from France it’s more and more likely for it to be the last time I see them, feel their embrace, listen to Dad reel out another pun, or feel Mum’s loving gaze.
All this and more is exactly why I booked a 3-day gravel cycling tour around the Pyrenees with my Dad for his 60th birthday. And it’s why, when I realised just 4 hours before my flight, that I had rented a bike box too small for my bike, I was temporarily heartbroken.
Stood there in our kitchen, bike components and dry bags laying all around me, I imagined ringing Dad and saying I had fucked up and couldn’t come. Nope, way too painful. I was going to make this work. I dismantled my bike into the smallest pieces possible and haphazardly threw everything in, not knowing, or really caring, how it would go back together. The time it took was agonising. The whole week in fact, had been centred around finishing work on Thursday and getting this long weekend in France, and I had been filled with an intensity leading to almost unbelievable levels of productivity.
Now, a trip to remember forever lay in the hands of my ability to disassemble and pack a bike into a box that was too small for it - something I had no idea how to do.
Almost inevitably, I arrived at London Stansted airport, kissed my pregnant wife and our baby bump goodbye, and hustled through the terminal and security before seeing my flight was delayed by 3 hours.
I had the time after all. But isn’t that always the case? We meet the deadline at work, we arrive at the gym just as the class starts, we sit down at the meeting just. in. time.
The Truth About Time Management: It’s About Engagement, Not Hours
This, is an example of Parkinson’s Law, also known as the homework principle, in action. I explain it to my clients by saying, “a task expands to the amount of time allotted.” Just as your homework, which could have been done in 30 minutes, wasn’t tackled until the night before and somehow took two weeks to finish, our adult lives and business projects also tend to expand to fit the time we allocate to them.
If you give strict deadlines to your tasks and hold yourself to them, you make them happen, and almost always in time. Just like packing the bike, and on a larger scale, booking this cycling trip, if you have a deadline, it almost always happens. What this provides you with is the focus, intentionality, and intensity to hit your deadlines.
Let’s face it “I don’t have time” is not true. What you lack is not adequate time, but the ability to actively engage in this moment right now. Your phone use doesn’t lie. Nor does your conscience. You and I both need more presence, not more hours.
I’ve been playing with Parkinson’s Law for the past 5 years now. What I’ve seen is phenomenal. The best things in my life right now are there because I have realised that both my time on this planet, and my capacity to achieve things is finite. By seeing life’s finitude, I actually get more done. This recent trip to the Pyrenees, my ski mountaineering in the Pakistani Karakoram mountains, and most importantly, the imminent arrival of our first child, are all products of applying Parkinson’s Law to my life.
But here’s the magic of Parkinson’s Law; the big ‘achievements’ are not where the benefit of this law resides. The real prize is in how I engage with this moment right now. After all - as trite as it may sound - it’s about the journey, not the destination. From the Pyrenees trip, it’s sharing a baguette in the drizzle, the hilariously disappointing accommodation I booked, and the time Dad pleaded with me to “stop talking because I feel obligated to reply and I can’t fucking breathe right now” that will stick with me. Not, arriving at our final destination, or reaching another col.
Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be: How Parkinson’s Law Leads to Intentional Living
“It’s not that life is too short, it’s that we waste so much of it,” wrote Seneca. The ultimate application of Parkinson’s Law therefore is in appreciating that your life is but a temporary gift, and that one day will be your last. Nothing can give you more gratitude for what you already have in front of you.
Life is about active engagement with this moment right here, right now. It’s about being rooted to the present and leaning in the direction of who you want to be. Parkinson’s Law is one way of doing that.
If you like the sound of becoming more intentional and deliberate, and becoming who you’re meant to be in general, I created my Character Course for you. In this 4-6 week, self-paced course, I teach you how to implement ideas like Parkinson’s Law to both ensure you get the ultimate goal, and engage maximally with this moment right now.
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